What If Your Best Isn't Good Enough?
The disappointment of not being good enough is something we all experience. You know what I am talking about… one day all is good. The next, someone said this or that and in the court of public opinion, your reputation is going downhill fast.
Just ask Coach Ron Rivera of the Carolina Panthers. He got fired mid-season. I am sure half of Charlotte is happy, but ultimately, don’t’ we think he did his best? I do! Maybe it was time for a change, but I feel certain that Coach Rivera didn’t set out to lose one single game. Sometimes all we have is what we have and sometimes that isn’t good enough. Or is it? Maybe Coach Rivera was only as good as what he had to work with…
Why do we put so much emphasis on what people think? I am a pleaser and a helper; the hostess who tries to think of every detail for her guests to be comfortable and happy. I thrive on it. I am disappointed, devastated really, when someone doesn’t like me, or I don’t live up to their expectations.
Do you know what the key factor is in any relationship? Communication. Open and honest communication with clear expectations. If one side isn’t honestly communicating how do you know what he or she needs or feels?
As a wife, mother and business owner I have struggled with this for years. It disappoints me to see someone unhappy. I don’t understand why everyone can’t be happy. Don’t put your happiness on others. That is a burden that no one can shoulder. But I have learned the following as I reflect on expectation and communication:
You can’t make anyone happy unless they already are.
Leaders never stop learning.
Positivity is a choice.
The Carolina Panthers owner David Tepper made a hard decision when he fired Coach Rivera. Was it the right one? Only he knows and that is all that should matter.
What about you? Have you had to make a hard decision? Telling yourself or others that you have given your best is not measurable. If there is perfection, then there will be no need to grow and become better.
I have realized that perhaps being a little insecure is alright. Questioning motives or decisions might just be a good thing. Remember that a leader never stops learning and no one likes a loser. So, keep trying to meet expectations knowing you will come up short but there is always room for improvement.
And we all love second chances and a good ending. Just ask anyone that watches the Hallmark Channel at Christmas time.